The Freezer

 

A couple of weeks ago, Keely and I started noticing a strange smell in the garage. We couldn’t quite pinpoint where it was coming from. I thought maybe the recycling bin had something spilt in it, or maybe some of our cleaning chemicals had gotten too hot in the cabinet. Denise (Keely's Mom) noticed it when she was here and thought it smelled dead, like a rodent had met its demise in our garage. It was noticeable in the garage, but not over powering and not at all detectable anywhere in the house. We should have investigated further...

This week, Keely opened our freezer in the garage and discovered the smell... everything in it was rotten. We rarely use this freezer, it was given to us for free for extra storage but it mostly houses things we rarely ever eat or do not know how to cook. We maybe go into it once a month. The freezer had obviously stopped working some time ago. Keely pushed it out of the garage and I moved it to the side of the house. The smell was bad, but with the lid closed, it was manageable. We agreed that on the night before trash day, we would empty it. That was on Monday. Trash day is tomorrow. So we put the boys to bed and went outside to tackle it tonight.

Keely said the smell was so bad that she nearly vomited so we put vicks vapor rub under our nose, put masks on, and suited up with rubber gloves. We went outside and I opened the lid. Guys... I almost died right there. I was gagging, bending over and doing everything I could not to blow chunks all over my yard. I shoved the vapor rub further up my nose and my eyes immediately started involuntarily shedding tears. Neighbors were getting home and I’ve never been more embarrassed as the smell seemed like it was strong enough to cover the entirety of West Knoxville.

I held the trash bags open while Keely put things in it. Roast... shrimp... broccoli... tilapia.... ground beef... pork tenderloin... frozen meals... chicken...

After every few items, we would have to run away and catch our breath, both of us struggling not to heave our dinners into our masks. As cars drove by, the only safe assumption based on our attire and the smell is we were disposing of a body.

Two huge bags full of the most vile smells that God has ever put on this planet.

We finally got the bags sealed and into the can by the street for pickup but the freezer was still full of smaller pieces and fragments as well as a large amount of water. We needed to hose it out.

We laid it on its side, the smells seemed worse as water rushed out of it. I ran away, gagging, coughing, praying for death.
I came back with the hose and began to hose it out as Keely held the lid. I bent down and watched as the devils liquid flowed out of the freezer and the smell hit me again, this time, I couldn’t handle it.

I dropped the hose and ran across the yard, it was too late this time. Wave 1, partly into my mask as I ripped it off and threw up all over the yard. My rubber glove scraped across my nose as I pulled my mask off inducing Wave 2, the worst kind of vomit imaginable. The kind that is sickly sweet on the back of your throat tasting so vile that it makes you continue to puke. I threw my mask in the driveway and continued to heave my guts out as Keely looked at me like I was the biggest wimp in the world. Wave 3... Wave 4... “Your wife is looking at you dude, pull it together and be a man!” I thought. Nope, more vomit.

Keely picked up the hose and finished the job while I clung to life in the driveway. I’m not proud, but I’m honest. I nearly died tonight. I feel like I’ve been through battle. I may suffer PTSD.

Thank god for my wife though.